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Thursday, February 17, 2011

SeaWorld = ShitWorld

Mmm...everyone loves SeaWorld. Except everyone. Those of you who do not know, SeaWorld is "famous" for being a fun place, I did not find this to be true when I visited earlier this month. Not to mention their whale, Shamu, along with other whales before him have killed trainers.

If you're thinking on going to SeaWorld, I advise you think again. Its the shittiest place on Earth, next to Ohio and Detroit city. Here is why SeaWorld sucks complete ass:

  • The first show was with the dolphins. The dolphins did some tricks I've seen 1000 times on the commercials, so that was nothing new and pretty boring.
  • Fillers. They have a bunch of bullshit fillers. For example, dolphins start doing tricks for about 3 minutes, then randomly there's people on wires in bird costumes flying around and jumping in water. Then back to dolphins. What the fuck do birds have to do with SeaWorld?
  • The next show sucked even more than the dolphins, this one was with the whales. First of all, Shamu wasn't there (they probably slaughtered him).
  • The whales did even shittier tricks. Bursting out of the water, then back down. Whatever.
  • More fillers for the whales, some short movie about "believing" in ... well no one knows. Then they asked some "random" kid in the crowd what he wanted to be as an adult, and the kid replyed "a whale trainer".
  • A bunch of dramatic music started while showing pictures of the previous stupid short movie they made. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING...

Now I dont know this for positive, but I believe the only time the animals really eat is when they are performing their tricks. I would call this a form of torture. I could be completely wrong, but I get a dark feeling from that place.

What I'm trying to say is simply,

Fuck SeaWorld.

Cops, Egos, and Taxing

The reason for starting this post is pretty simple. I recently had taken a vacation down to Florida, from Michigan. It's a good 20-24 hour drive all the way down. The trip didn't go to bad, Sea World sucks dick, which by the way I will be talking about in another post entirely. Anyway on the drive back from Florida we had to go through Ohio, the Asshole of America. I personally had been driving 10 hours straight and I admit I was going 80 in a 65 zone through Ohio.

We were making pretty damn good time too, just about to hit Michigan when some cop pulls me over. Of course with my luck its a chick cop, meaning she needs to prove shes a big tough police officer. I give her my license and registration, explain we have been driving for 20 hours straight, but she doesnt give a shit and gives me a $127 ticket. I didnt bother fighting it because I know cops, and they'll either say "no" or get all offended that I dare question their authority.

For some reason she calls in backup, and another cop car pulls up behind her. (real tough) Anyway she actually tells me to MY FACE to "please pull out onto the highway safely". I chuckle to myself, knowing she couldnt give a fuck less. Not to mention her cop lights were blinding me from behind so I couldnt even see the assholes going by doing 80-90 miles an hour. So my family naturally bitches me out for daring to get home quickly and I start to think about things.

Well before this incident I knew cops (not all but most) have enormous egos. They put the uniform on, the badge, gun, cuffs, pepper spray, tazer, and those stupid hats. All of a sudden they feel completely invincible. Cops are completely useless in everyway and I can prove it.
Here are some Fun Facts:

  1. When cops are on the side of the road and people have to try and slow down quickly, in order to keep their money, this is unsafe.
  2. When cops pull you over, its unsafe, then its unsafe to get back onto the highway.
  3. If someone is robbing a bank, all the cops can do is sit outside on their fat asses and "talk them out of it". If there were 20 people, the robber could kill 19 of them without the cops doing anything. They would just sit outside.
  4. What about a terrorist? What if 10 terrorists with automatic weapons starts going through a large building, slaughtering everyone? What are the cops going to do?

There's probably more reasons and feel free to list them in the comments.
Cops giving me a ticket makes me think of taxes. And in fact, it is a tax. 95% of the time cops pull over perfectly sober people who have just been doing a little speeding, (who doesn't speed?) while the drunk/high assholes kill people/themselves on the highway.

Give me a break, cops arent there to save anyone they're there to create more problems.


Fuck the Police.